Just fell off a train. Bad.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
