I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
