I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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