Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
