The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
