The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
