I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
