I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
