Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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