She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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