why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
