I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
