why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
