my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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