You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
