Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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