so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
drinking out of a sandbucket again
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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