Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
