I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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