I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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