The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
