Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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