You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
