So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
