I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
