I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
