been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
