I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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