I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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