I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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