so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
