You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
