just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
