ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if only i could text you this smell
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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