There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
