i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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