And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
