Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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