hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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