Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
