I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
