i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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