I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
