Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Alive.
So much puke
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
