I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was so not down for the gang bang
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
