problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
