stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
