Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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