i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
