I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
